Official Announcement:
The government today announced that it is changing its emblem from an Eagle to a CONDOM because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance. A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed!

Benign                                    What you be after you be eight.

Artery                                     The study of painting.

 Bacteria                                 Back door to cafeteria.

Barium                                   What doctors do when patients die.

Cesarean Section                    A neighborhood in Rome.

Cat Scan                                Searching for kitty.

Cauterize                                Made eye contact with her.

Colic                                      A sheep dog.

Coma                                     A punctuation mark.

D&C                                      Where Washington is.

Dilate                                      To live long.

Duct Tape                               Suture on a roll.

Enema                                    Not a friend.

Fester                                    Quicker than someone else.

Fibula                                     A small lie.

Genital                                    Non-Jewish person.

G.I. Series                              World series of military baseball.

Hangnail                                  What you hang your coat on.

Impotent                                  Distinguished, well known.

Labor                                      Pain Getting hurt at work.

Medical staff                           A doctor's cane.

Morbid                                   A higher offer than I bid.

Nitrates                                   Cheaper than day rates.

Node                                      I knew it.

Outpatient                              A person who has fainted.

Pap                                        Smear A fatherhood test.

Pelvis                                     Second cousin to Elvis.

Post operative                        A letter carrier.

Recovery room                      Place to do upholstery.

Rectum                                  Dam near killed him.

Secretion                               Hiding something Seizure Roman Emperor.

Tablet                                    A small table.

Terminal illness                       Getting sick at the airport.

Tumor                                    More than one.

Urine                                      Opposite of your out.

Varicose                                 Near by/ close by.